Books for Young Children About Infertility Treatments
Today, I am sharing a variety of books that help families talk to younger children about infertility treatments. Many kids are conceived that way, and we know that talking to kids about this when they are young helps them develop an honest and positive self-image. Yet, families can get stuck when trying to share how hard getting pregnant was and all of the stress that went into creating this special human. Some families don’t feel comfortable talking about the sperm and the egg or don’t want their kids to get confused about genetics and what makes them them. These books can be a starting place. Some of them go into the process more than others, but most of these books do not get deep into the science. They do tell stories of adults wanting a child badly, they do normalize IVF, surrogacy, sperm/egg donation, and other methods that help families have babies. They do use playful stories to help kids start to build an understanding, though some of the analogies might click more with the adults than the kids. Kids will likely have questions that adults will need to find answers to, but that’s good. Honest family conversations are good, and if you are looking for more scientific explanations to enhance these conversations, check out last week’s post about children’s books that explain baby making. Several of them include explanations of infertility treatments.
I would love to find more children’s books that talk about a sibling’s experience or understanding. I know it isn’t as common, but there are families who already have children and then experience trouble conceiving. If anyone knows of any great ones, please let me know. I’d love to do another blog post focused on the siblings!
Lilly’s Blueprints by Sharon Leya
Let me start by saying that there are currently 25 versions of this book. The different versions were created to help families find a book that represents their own situation including different family dynamics (1 mom, 2 moms, mom and dad, etc.) and different donor/fertility experiences (donor sperm, donor egg, double donor, IUI, ICI, IVF, etc). All of these books have the same storyline, the child is going to their first day of school. Experiences with friends bring up questions about how they were made. The parent(s) (who also happen to be architects) explain where their “blueprints” came from, but also that there is so much that goes into what makes them them. The descriptions are simple and honest. They use the terms sperm and eggs, but they do not discuss sex. The book builds kids up in being loved and special and not alone in being donor conceived. The book also ends with some discussion questions that many children will bring up over time and ideas for parents about how to handle them. I really appreciate how much work the author has put in to create a book for every situation AND now she also offers customized books for a higher price. With the customizable option, you can choose how the child and parent(s) look and a few details about what traits the child gets from their family.
25 versions available here: https://amzn.to/4mqKTyl (just click the series link listed under 4.9 out of 5 stars to find the other options)
Customizable versions here: https://mydonorstory.com/pages/personalized-book-builder
Cupcakes Everywhere by Erin Sarris
This book uses cupcakes as an analogy for a baby. The couple in the story notice that cupcakes are everywhere and they want one of their own, but it isn’t as easy as it is for other people. People say some not very helpful things and ultimately, they go to the special baker who is expensive and where things don’t always work right away. Throughout the story, it keeps bringing back the phrase “the cupcakes were everywhere” emphasizing the stress when it feels like everyone else has the one thing you want. The story ends when the special bakery helps the couple get a cupcake.
If you are looking for a way to tell your kids how much you wanted and waited for them, this book is a great way to start the conversation. Analogies can be helpful, but also confusing for kids. So I highly recommend giving your kids information and clarifying that they weren’t baked! Be ready for more conversations. Several of the books I shared last week about baby making can help you answer their harder questions!
https://amzn.to/48OsB4v
The Pea That Was Me: -An Egg Donation Story by Kimberly Luger-Bell
This is another book that comes in different options - 9 different scenarios such as sperm donation (2 moms/one moms, sperm and egg donation, 2 dads surrogacy, IVF, etc.) The book explains that the green little plants (who are kinda of built like humans in the playful illustrations) all start from a small pea. Then it uses that little pea as a way to explain that it came from someone else or require other help. My favorite part of the book was the note to parents at the end of the book. It talks about how people used to be told not to talk to children about how they were conceived, but that mental health professionals now encourage parents to be honest with their children and help build the story as a part of their positive self- image. Again, this book is simple and would be good for young children. School age children will require more info, but it is a starting place. I was excited to see that there is a new book called The Pea That Was Me - The New Baby, especially for siblings, which I feel is a gap in infertility books. I was unable to find a copy to recommend, but If anyone knows how I can get access, I would love to take a look.
Find the 9 versions here: https://amzn.to/425Xv4y (click on the series link under the author’s name and star rating)
The Very Kind Koala: A Surrogacy Story for Children
This book tells the story of a koala couple who wants to have a baby, but the mama’s pouch can’t carry a baby. They find a “very kind koala” who agrees to carry the baby until it is ready to be outside. Then she gives it to the couple and the baby immediately climbs on to the mama’s back. This is a very simple story to tell young children about surrogacy. They will likely have questions as the get older, but this can be a great tool if you want your child to have always known their origin story.
https://amzn.to/4mrqiKe
Made with Love: The Sweetest Allegory for Embryo Donation and Adoption by Whitney Williams
This book tells the story of a cookie couple who couldn’t make baby cookies. The neighbors have so many dough balls but not the ability to take care of that many cookies. The neighbors give their dough balls to the couple so they can bake their own baby cookies. The book ends with some discussion questions to help the kids tie the story to embryo donation. Some of the questions seemed confusing and overwhelming for a child who is the right age for this book. The reader might want to reword the questions. This book would be a great conversation starter for families who want to express the special and loving act of donating embryos and birth through donation.
Good for families with donation experience - young children through young elementary.
https://amzn.to/4tQMgsQ
Ta-Da! A Story of Egg Donation by Ella Kay and Farida Zaman
This book tells the story of a young girl who asks her parents where she came from. The parents explain simply that they knew that their life would be better with her, but that they had trouble getting pregnant. It say that when a sperm mixes with an egg it creates a baby. It then explains by saying that they tried and tried, but it didn’t work. It shows pictures of an egg and sperm trying to connect but not being able to in kind of silly ways (opposite sides of a maze, missed soccer goal, etc). The couple then learns that there are people that donate eggs and sperm to help make a baby. The doctor “mixes” Dada’s sperm with a donated egg and it is put into the mom. Then it goes into the baby growing inside and coming out when she has “grown big and strong enough”. This book is good for young children. Kids might have more questions about how they “tried” and what it was like to have the sperm and egg put inside.
https://amzn.to/4u7wQ3F
More Than All the Stars by Madi Swegle
This book tells the story of a rabbit couple that does IVF. The book talks about the bunnies wanting to have a baby and finding a doctor (an owl) who could help. The book talks about the IVF process of putting cells together in a lab (also mentions medicine and shots) and then putting the cells that grew together into mom’s stomach. The illustrations are pretty and engaging. A book does say “mom and dad” but the bunnies don’t appear to have a gender. So if a two mom couple uses this book, I think they could easily change the word “dad” to the appropriate title. The book does not identify where the cells came from, so this is a good starting place that would fit a variety of situations. It is likely that eventually kids will ask where the cells came from. If you are looking for a resource for young children that gives the basis of IVF, this is a great starting point.
https://amzn.to/4t4SbKK
As always, I am including links to help you find these books or get a chance to look at some pages and illustrations. I do make a small commission if you buy the book through some of the links, which helps me justify all the hours I spend going through books for y’all. The publishers and authors/illustrators still make the same profit - so it’s a win/win.
