Children's Books About What to Do After a Death (Finding Connection & Supporting Grievers)
*This image uses the old name for the ‘Is There a Book for That?’ blog/book list.
This week's collection of books focuses on how to support grievers and how people can feel connected with those who have died. Like a lot of the topics I cover, these books can be equally important for the caretakers to read. These books help families talk about ways they can support others and ways that they like to be supported. This can be so important as each person grieves different at different times. Please read below to learn more about each of the books can support your children.
In full disclosure, I am trying something new - adding links below each book. I noticed this week when adding the links that almost all of the books are currently on sale. Being Children's Grief Awareness Month, it is a great time to add supportive grief books to your collection - and not break the bank!
(If you purchase the book that way, it will not cost you any more money, but I do make a small commission. It is my hope that this will justify the time I am giving to the book list and allow me more time to find y'all great books.)
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland
This book uses the words of a grieving girl to talk about many questions and thoughts children have after a death. The girl wonders if she will forget. The girl wonders where the love goes. The girl finds that she likes to collect things that remind her of her loved one. She puts them in a box. She also likes to do new things that she talked about with her loved one, go to the places they went, and bring up conversations to share memories with her family about her loved one. This book demonstrates and normalizes a lot of ways children might want to keep remembering someone special and could be helpful for families trying to find ways that work best for them. Great for young children through elementary.
https://amzn.to/47Ppo4I
Just What to Do by Kyle Lukoff
This sweet story tells of a child who tries to be there for many different people in as they experience grief. Each of them is experiencing a different kind of grief - dead plant, dead pet, etc and each of them needs something different. He adjusts his plan each time, but finds each time that what helped the person before doesn’t help the next person. Finally, his best friend’s grandma dies, and he asks her what will help. She doesn’t know and so they figure it out together. This reassures families that there is no right way or no perfect fix. The more important thing is to be present. This story is another great simply-worded book that can help kids talk about how they might support a friend or what kind of support might feel good for them. Great for young children through elementary.
https://amzn.to/3M62CNo
You’ll Find Me by Amanda Rawson Hill
This book is written in the words of a loved one who is telling a child that they won’t always be right there physically, but instead suggests all the ways that they will be there in the child’s thoughts, memories, and experiences. It ends with a phrase “as long as you look with more than just your eyes, you’ll find me”. This book is beautifully written and could be a really special way to talk about a child’s lasting connection to a loved one who has died. This book is great for young children through upper elementary, but for young black-and-white thinkers, you may need to help them process how they could feel someone who isn’t there.
https://amzn.to/3K2qh0z
The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld
This simple book uses the story of a child who builds a block tower. The block tower falls down and the child is grieving. Multiple animals come along to suggest ways to handle the child’s grief including things like shout, talk, hide, rebuild, ruin someone else’s, etc. None of things feel good to the child until the rabbit comes along and listens. When the rabbit listens, the child processes all the possibilities, and the rabbit continues to listen, even when the child is quiet. In the end, the child finds his way through and the rabbit continues to support with a hug and listening. This book is obviously a metaphor for how we can support our people when they are grieving, but it can also model ways that a child might cope. I love the idea of following up with having a child identify who are the people in their life that are there to listen and support with a hug. This book can be a great suggestion for families, as it can also reinforce the concept of support through listening and acceptance to caregivers/parents. In this way, the book is good for all ages.
https://amzn.to/47MSOjX
Forever Connected by Jessica Correnti *
This book focuses on the connection siblings have that reach beyond death. The book uses simple language that is gentle and easy to understand. The story shows several different children that have experienced the death of a sibling. Each family finds connection through different items and actions. At the end, it shows the children at a grief support group. They share these connections with each other through art projects. This book, written by a child life specialist, is such a easy way to talk to kids about how they feel connected to their loved one. It could be great for a grief group or one-on-one. One thing to keep in mind - this book may bring up some new questions about the death of a child if the reader has only experienced the death of an older person. This book is appropriate for young children-elementary.
https://amzn.to/43EdCYp
Customizable Legacy Book Workbook or Digital Template by Words Worth Repeating (Options:Grandparent -he/she, Any Adult -he/she, A Child -he/she, and Baby -gender neutral)
These books were created to help families create a custom book about their loved one that died. Each page is written, but blanks are left for families to fill with memories and details. The books take the reader through various parts of the loved ones life. There is room on each page for customized illustrations as well. This allows the child to add the pictures. The one exception is the version about a baby that died, which is more of a coloring book with some illustrations done, but lots of room to customize. Each of these books is also available as a digital template so that families can upload their own family pictures and use them in the books. These are my own creation and are available on this website, but don’t hesitate to reach out if you are wondering which book/template is the right fit for your family.
To find these Legacy books and templates, go the website store and explore the customizable options. The workbooks are also available on Amazon if you need quick shipping!
