Children's Books About the Holidays and Loss
* This image uses the old name for the ‘Is There a Book for That?’ blog/book list.
In honor of all of the families entering this Thanksgiving week with a sense of dread or worry or apprehension about what the holiday will feel like without a loved one, I am sharing some stories about holiday traditions and loss. May these stories help families feel less alone as they navigate what traditions to keep, what traditions to change, and what they can to do honor the hole that exists without their someone special. As a child life specialist, I believe that it is important to talk to kids prior to the special day and make them part of the planning. These books could be a meaningful way to start that conversation.
Please take note that I spent a lot of time this week looking for stories about various holidays. I hoped to provide a diverse offering of books, and I found some great ones that are all a bit different. Please read the descriptions below to figure out what is the best fit for your family. If you find one, you can use the link to purchase and I do make a small commission off that purchase from the link - which will allow me to spend future time finding you all great books.
This concludes my November children's grief focused books, I will return to some medical subjects next week, but let me just say that I am so thankful for the authors and illustratrators who have put these important books into the world to help families feel seen and to give them ideas of how they can celebrate and remember their loved one.
Eden and Ellies’ Christmas is Not the Same by Autumn and Brandon Cohen
This book tells the story of a girl Eden and her cat Ellie. Eden is not looking forward to Christmas because someone she loved died and Christmas won’t be the same. Eden works on coming up with a way to remember and celebrate the person because Christmas is happening no matter what. She decides to create a stocking and everyone in the family can put things in the stocking that remind them of the person. Eden has a hard time deciding what to put in the stocking, but ultimately writes them a letter. The book ends with instructions for creating a stocking and a place to write a letter. I appreciate that the book offers an activity that can help a family talk about the grief and the upcoming holiday together. I also like the note at the end that gives families ideas of other ways that they can use to talk about their person and acknowledge them in their holiday traditions. This book could be a way to talk to early elementary school kids about the upcoming holiday without a loved one and suggest a project that gives them a chance to express their feelings. Of course, projects like this should be optional and should be accompanied with a conversation about whether it feels right to them.
https://amzn.to/483hFQD
The Memory Tree: A Holiday Gift Book by Joanna Rowland
This book tells the story of a girl who feels like Christmas isn’t the same after her loved one dies. Her family decides to decorate a Christmas tree in the person’s honor. All sorts of loved ones arrive to add memories/ornaments to the tree. Even though Christmas isn’t the same, the girl feels better surrounded by special memories and creating a new tradition. This book would be very appropriate to read with children who have lost a loved one, followed by a conversation about what this year’s holiday season should be like and what family members want to change or keep the same. The book talks about common Christmas traditions such as the tree, but isn’t religious in other ways. Good for preschool through elementary.
https://amzn.to/3XjOhj2
The Cardinal’s Gift: A True Story of Finding Hope in Grief by Carole Heaney
This book tells the story of a girl who is struggling after her dad dies. She doesn’t want to go to school or do anything but lay in bed. A cardinal starts tapping the glass and piques the girl's interest. As she focuses on the bird and grows in curiosity, she finds that she slowly finds joy in being with friends and leaving her room. She and her mom talk about how some people have various beliefs about cardinals as representing loved ones. The cardinal doesn’t stay around forever and her mom gives her a cardinal snow globe for Christmas. The girl says she is thankful for the gift from nature that reminded her of her dad. This book does a nice job talking about the things around us that can help us feel connected with our loved ones who have died. The book does not draw conclusions about the cardinal being her dad, but families could have conversations about their own beliefs in relation to the story. There are also lots of normalizing aspects of how the girl feels and how she struggles that might help kids feel less alone in their grief. This book would be good for preschool through elementary.
https://amzn.to/48AFy29
Popi’s All Souls Song by C.K. Malone
This book is about a little girl who celebrated All Soul’s Day by visiting houses and singing for them with her grandparents. One year, her grandfather died. The girl had a hard time understanding why should sing for others when they had their own loss. She tries to reason this with her grandmother, but her grandmother says that they shouldn’t think about it that way. Her grandfather would want them to sing for families. Suddenly, she realizes that her grandmother’s loss might even feel bigger than her own. She walks her grandmother home and promises to finish visiting the houses on her own. Finally, she returns home and surprises her grandmother with people of the town singing Popi’s song for her. Her grandfather is always remembered year after year because of how he took care of others and honored their loved ones. This story helps kids understand how we can take care of each other by remembering and could also be a good way to talk about all of the different losses our community might be experiencing. Good for kids in preschool through middle elementary.
https://amzn.to/48drv15
I Remember Abuelito: A Day of the Dead Story by Janice Levy
This book tells the story of a girl who is experiencing the Day of the Dead after her grandfather has died. She has lots of questions and her mother explains their families beliefs and traditions. The book also covers some common questions and feelings children have after death. Each page includes text in English and Spanish. This book could be helpful for families to help families pass down traditions and build connections with those who have died. If a family does not come from this tradition or heritage, the book could be used for educational purposes while also talking about different cultures and people having different beliefs and different ways of celebrating the important lives of those who have died. Good for young school age children.
https://amzn.to/48piLFp
The Remembering Stone by Carey Sookocheef
While this book doesn’t specifically talk about a holiday it is a good simple way to talk about traditions and memories. The girl in the story has a special rock that reminds her of how her grandpa taught her to skip rocks. One day the rock goes missing and her friends at school try to help her find it. They don’t find it, but now she has many more rocks to skip and to remember her grandpa. This book is very simply written and would be appropriate for very young through middle elementary. I like how it introduces the idea that traditions don’t always have to stay the same for them to matter. As life and circumstances change, people can evolve the ways that they remember their loved ones.
https://amzn.to/49HCBOu
Where’s Poppy? By Caroline Kusin Pritchard
This book is about a family celebrating their first Passover without their grandfather. The book talks about many Jewish traditions of Passover and how the young child looks for signs of her grandfather. She finally finds him in many of the traditions she loves. This book leans into what makes holidays special. The traditions form so many memories in our mind that we can hold onto when we miss our loved ones. Great for preschoolers through middle elementary - especially families who connect to the Jewish faith. At the end of the book, there is a glossary that talks about many of the Jewish terms throughout the book which makes the book also great for people who are curious about the Passover traditions.
https://amzn.to/4ptLOhN
Thanksgiving Wish by Michael J. Rosen
This book tells the story of a Jewish family and their Bubbe (grandmother). After introducing Bubbe and the extravagant meal she prepares for Thanksgiving, the reader learns that Bubbe has died and this will be the family’s first Thanksgiving without her. The family does their best to pull together the traditional meal, but run into several bumps in the road. A neighbor woman and friends end up helping the family pull the meal together. The book also focuses on the turkey’s wishbone. Bubbe used to save several wishbones so that each child could break the wishbone with her. This year, there is only one. The youngest child gets to break it, but there is also family discussion about wishes and what her Bubbe always wished. This story will be relatable for many families who built holiday traditions with a grandparent. The book doesn’t focus on religious aspects of the holiday, but rather how special the grandmother’s effort was and how special her memory is. This book is a longer story and will be better for kids with longer attention spans, more appropriate for middle elementary and older. This could be used to bring up memories of your own grandparent or to talk about how holiday traditions change and how that might affect your family plans.
https://amzn.to/48C7wKQ
