Children’s Books About the Death of a Sibling
There is no doubt that the death of a child has a huge impact on their sibling. Siblings have so much to do with a child’s relationships, self-image, habits, ways they spend their time, and how they see their future. This death will change life as they know it and change their days to come. In the past, I have shared some more general books about the death of a child/baby (use the search bar to find them!) and I have even written some books that support siblings/children after the death of a baby and a more general loss. Yet, I do think that “story books” about a specific loss can give kids another way to connect and feel less alone in their loss. Interestingly, although I tried to diversify, all of the books that I found today that I felt were worth sharing included either a baby sister dying or a brother who was a child (not a baby). I specifically tried to find the opposite and struck out today, but I do think the stories are relatable even if the genders don’t match exactly.
Most of these books also talk about a unique aspect of sibling loss and that is having parents struggling with overwhelming grief. Many parents don’t anticipate experiencing the death of a child and did not anticipate raising a child in a house that carries such sadness. I appreciated that these books touched on that, some more than others. Anyway, please read below to learn more about each title and how they might support the people in your world. Also, PLEASE go back to my previous blogs to learn about books a sibling can benefit from after the death of a child or a baby. I don’t reshare books. I only add new books that haven’t suggested before. I suggest typing “child death” or “baby death” in the search bar.
As always, I earn a small commission from purchases made from some of the links I share. If you’d like to support my efforts on this blog, I would love for you to use them - if you ever purcase any of my recommendations. If you don’t, that’s fine too. I appreciate you reading, and please know that I share everything I find, not only things I get a commission on. (In fact, if you use the search bar and type “free” you’ll even find things that you can download at no cost at all.
My Brother is Not Getting Better by Vanessa Ya Lopez and illustrated by Joy Anne Nicholas
This book was written by a child life specialist and illustrated by another child life specialist - a child life collab! The book is a very honest depiction of a girl whose brother is in the hospital and not getting better. The book talks through her experiences learning that her brother is dying, visiting him in the hospital, learning that he died, and then memorializing his death. This book is not for every situation, but some children who go through this kind of experience will feel special and be seen reading this book with their caregiver. There are very few resources that are appropriate for families before the actual death happens, and yet these families anticipating the death of a child need support. Because this book has lots of additional notes to parents throughout the book, I think it could be helpful for families on hospice to receive this book as a parent support..Even if they don’t feel like it is the best choice for their child at the time, the book models ways that families can parent a grieving sibling while grieving themselves. Children’s books are such an easy-to-process resource. If you are looking for a resource about anticipated death, hospice, and/or sibling grief support, please check out this unique resource. Best for school aged kids or like mentioned before - parents.
https://amzn.to/4rIMHE1
Goodbye Sister: A Sibling’s Book for Infant Loss by Kimberly Newton
This book is the story of a young girl who learns that her family is going to have a new baby sister. Her parents simply explain things like where babies grow, mommies needing rest, and feeling kicks and kisses. When the sister visits Grandma and Grandpa’s during labor, she is excited, but then they find out that the baby died while being born. The family processes together, validating feelings, drawing memories, and finding moments for quiet. The book acknowledges other families going through the same kind of loss and finding connection in nature. This book is limiting in that it does show a caucasian family with a mom and a dad, and so it may not represent the grieving family in your world. The book does show families of other cultures experiencing a similar loss which does give it more of a universal perspective. This book would be good for young children through early elementary.
https://amzn.to/4buHhpU
Remembering Ethan by Lesléa Newman
This book talks about a sister who has an older brother die. The book uses honest language, but it does not explain why the brother dies. Most of the book describes interactions she has with her parents. She wants to talk about her brother, and they don’t. Once the little sister gets upset, the parents realize that this avoidance wasn’t working, and they reminisce with one of Ethan’s photo books. They all feel closer after this. This book may not depict their exact experiences, but it could help explain why some people are coping by avoiding or why people in their life could avoid talking about a dead family member. After reading the book as a family, I think it could be helpful to talk about how different people process and how kids can advocate for their own needs. Good for school age kids. The parents' initial anger and avoidance could be confusing for young children.
https://amzn.to/4drtCTa
My Life with Losing a Sibling by Mari Schuh
This book tells the story of a school age girl who has an older brother who dies of cancer. Obviously, this makes the book not very appropriate for families that know someone in cancer treatment as it could increase anxiety about their death. For those who did experience the death of a child from cancer, the details could make them feel seen and less alone. The book briefly talks about the brother’s treatment and how his cancer went away, but then it came back. It mentions how the sister felt ignored when her brother got extra attention, and it talked about her feelings after the brother dies. At the end, the book gives some real life tips about how to support siblings who have a sibling who has died. I think the best use for this book would be for communities that experience the death of a child to cancer. The book could be very impactful in helping peers and neighbors support the child’s siblings. Would be great for their classrooms and communities. Good for school aged kids who know a child who lost a sibling to cancer.
https://amzn.to/470K0Gw
Always Sisters by Saira Mir
This book is about a girl whose family is expecting a new baby sister. During the first half of the book, she shares all of the things she is looking forward to. Then her mom tells her that the baby won’t be coming home. Her parents go to the hospital and the baby does not come home. This book never uses the words die or died, so parents might need to clarify this. Although for very young children, this simplicity might work. The book does talk about the big sister’s feelings and how it helps to get them out. This includes a memorial activity with her family, drawing, and talking to her school counselor. The illustrations depict images that families could interpret together as being feelings of loss, angels, some sort of connection to her spirit, or whatever else they believe or feel. I appreciate that this part of the book is depicted this way and no specific beliefs are shared because it opens the door for conversation, but doesn’t give one specific belief system or view. The girl in the story has a brother, mother, and father, and the expected baby is a girl. So this might limit how the family relates to the story. I can see this story being helpful for young children through middle elementary.
https://amzn.to/4simPA0
Remember, in honor of Child Life Month, I at least one books written by a child life specialist each week in March! As a true believer in our professional expertise and perspective, I am so excited to share these thoughtfully written resources. Keep following to find more books written by Certified Child Life Specialists!
